WELCOME TO THE FOOLS PARADISE!!!

2006-03-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO THE HOOD!!!

HEY Y'ALL!! WELCOME TO THE HOOD OF FOOLS AND WISE ALIKE. WHERE FUCKERS,SUCKERS,SNIPERS AND KILLERS DON'T FUCK WITH US. WELL

IF BY MISTAKE YOU HAVE OPEN THIS SITE, THEN YOU ARE A FOOL, NO DOUBT YOU ARE HERE AND WE THINK THE SPIRIT OF FOOLS LED YOU TO US FOR SOME FOOLING LESSON. SO MY FRIEND IN FOOLING WELCOME TO OUR PARADISE. FEEL FREE TO READ OUR ARTICLES, JOKES AND STORIES COS NO WISE PERSON WILL EVER FIND LAUGHTER AT THE CHEAPEST COST. AND YOU CAN ONLY GET IT HERE!!! FOOL (WISE) ARE YOU READY? IF YES THEN PUT ON YOUR RIDDING GEAR AND CRUISE WITH US (FOOL).

INTRODUCTION:

NATURE MAKES US WHO WE ARE AND IT IS OUT OF OUR OWN CREATIVE GENIUS THAT WE BECOME WHO WE WANT TO BE. AND OUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE SAME UNLESS WE FACE THE TRUTH. LIFE IS NOT HOW HAPPY YOU CAN BE, BUT HOW HAPPY YOU CAN MAKE OTHERS AND THIS ONE MAIN REASON WHY THIS BLOG IS CREATED, JUST TO HELP YOU RELEASE SOME TENSION. HA HA HA. FOOLS LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS INVITED ANY TIME.

WELL LET US START WITH SOME THOUGHT PROVOKING WORDS:

(MISLEADING)

Children playin outside cars can cause accidents. but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!

Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart. for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top

Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.

When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?

boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion

while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1.but b careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along

If you fool me once shame on you. If you fool me twice shame on me.

This SITE was MADE exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. YOU have obviouslyOPENED the wrong SITE.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam

Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed

Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!

A man go for blood test.nurse took his finger blood sample but cant find cotton.So she sucks his finger! He is so happy n he asks:"Can i get a urine test also?"

JOKE OF THE DAY!

There was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.

He went to a local bar and climbed onto a stool.  "Wow, these seats are

big!" he said.  The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

He ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands.  He

exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"  The bartender replied, "Everything is big

in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the

bathroom was located.  The bartender replied, "In the back, second door

to the right."  The blind man headed for the bathroom, but tripped and

accidentally skipped the second door.  He entered the third door, which

lead to a swimming pool and he fell into the water.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush!  Don't

flush!!"

JOKE OF THE DAY!

A man asked his friend, "How is your wife's pregnancy going?"

"Oh, she's not pregnant," the friend replied, "she's expecting."

The first man was confused.  "What's the difference?"

"Well," his friend explained, "she's expecting me to cook dinner, she's

expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her

feet...."

JOKE OF THE DAY!

Three friends die in a car accident and go to an orientation in heaven.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family

are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great

doctor and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful

husband and school teacher who made a huge difference with our children."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, 'Look, he's

moving!'"

Love is Never Silent

A loving heart, a gentle smile, a warm and tender touch.

We give so many things but nothing means as much.

A little inspiration

When someone loses hope,

A kind word of encouragement

When they no longer seem to cope.

A simple phrase, “ I love you” when no one else is there,

Taking hold onto a hand in a little heartfelt prayer.

Love is Never Silent,

It has so much to say,

And it is our greatest blessing

When we give it all away.

Don’t be Silent; pass on the love to your LOVE one.

Jokes

POEM

HUNGRY

My stomach is growling, because it’s HUNGRY.

And I really dunno what to do!!

I tried patting it. But it just won’t STOP!

I tried talking to it, but that’s NO USE….

AHA! I know what it NEEDS…

A PLATE, A FORK, A NAPKIN ………

And also the most important of all.. FOOD, FOOD, FOOD.

OH, yummy food, Hot, tongue stimulating, finger licking Food.

Whoosh! But that’s so impossible…

So I guess…

My poor tummy would have to go no growling and growling.

SUCCES STORY

A young man came to an elderly grey-haired leader and asked him what he could do to become a successful leader. This great leader took the man to a lake and pushed his head under water for a long time.

As expected, the man became desperate for air and forced his way to the surface, shouting: “Are you trying to kill me?” The grey-haired successful leader replied calmly: “ When you want success as much as you wanted air, you will find it”. Be determined and you will one day be surprised when your dreams come true.

“Successful leaders don’t just emerge. They emerge from who they have made themselves into”.

HOW TO PROPOSE

There was this young man who went to propose to a lady friend. She pointed out to him that so many gentlemen had proposed to her earlier and that there were indications that others were going to come forward later.

After a long pause, the young man responded: “All those who came before me were thieves and robbers, and those who will come after me are savage wolves.

BEWARE!!!!

The attractive bodies of young people can be compared to a pot of stew or soup that is still cooking. The aroma may be inviting but it is not yet ready for consumption. If you insist on eating it, you could have a stomach upset. If you insist on playing adult games at this stage, you could very well end up with a different kind of stomach upset!

“ODD”

Once there was a boy whose parents named him Odd. Other children used to tease him about his name, he stuck out his chest and refused to be bothered.

As he grew up, people continue to make fun of his moniker even after he became a successful attorney. Finally, as an old man, he wrote out his last wishes: “ I have been the joke of all my life”, he said. “ I will not have people making fun of me after I’m gone”.

He instructed that his tombstone not bear his name. After his death, people noticed the large blank stone and said “That’s Odd”.

JOKE OF THE DAY!

A blonde walks into a store and says to the clerk, "Can I buy this TV?"

The clerk says, "We don't allow blondes in the store."

So the blonde walks home, puts on a wig and goes back to the store.

"Can I buy this TV?" she asks, and the clerk says, "We don't allow

blondes in the store!"

So she goes back home, completely dyes her hair and gets a total

makeover.  She goes back to the store and asks, "Can I buy this television?"

The clerk says, "NO!  We don't allow blondes in the store!"

The woman asks, "How did you know I was a blonde?"

"Because that’s not a TV.  It's a microwave!"

Skip

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.  "I

want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this

procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at

least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by having lost nearly

20 pounds.

"That's amazing!" the doctor said.  "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded.  "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to

drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?" the doctor asked.

"No, from skipping."

LEARN HOW TO CHEAT

A gorgeous young woman catches her boyfriend cheating on her so she

goes to a bar to get some revenge.

She looks around and spots an old timer sitting alone in the corner.

She confidently walks over to him and says, "I'll do anything,

absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how wild, for $100 on one

condition."

The old man is stunned, and asks what the condition is.  The young

woman replies, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three

words."

The man considers her proposition for a moment, withdraws his wallet

from his pocket and slowly counts out five $20 bills, which he presses

into the young woman's hand.

He looks into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully says, "Paint my house."

A duck walks into a feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?"

The clerk tells him, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't

carry it."  The duck says, "Okay," and leaves.

The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, "Got any

duck feed?"  Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, "Got any duck feed?"  The clerk

says, "I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had

duck feed and we never will have duck feed.  If you ask me again, I'll

nail your feet to the floor."

The next day, the duck walks in and asks, "Got any nails?"

"No!" answers the clerk.

 Got any duck feed?"

THE LAND FLOWING WITH HONEY AND MILK

Well, after setting off on a voyage on the Ocean of Education to seek greener pastures, you waded through the ocean with ease. The ocean was calm and friendly, the billows, nowhere to be found. When you were half way through, the waves became angry and began to toss you here and there. At that moment, you wished you had never started the journey at all.

But through determination, you were able to find your through the rough sea to the habour, where one is expected to continue his/her journey on foot to the land flowing with Honey and Milk. This land is not very far nor close, but it can take you forty years to get there, when you don’t know your way and just a day, when you know the way. The road to this land is very narrow and only a few people are able to find their way.

At the entrance of this land is a door painted with the rainbow colours and on it is the inscription “The Door Opens to those who have the Key”. Anyone who is able to open this door is given a lighted torch that signifies victory or success in Life.

Now, one may ask, what are the angry waves, habour, way, key and the land flowing with honey and milk?

These are the answers; before one can find the way to this land, One must be disciplined (God fearing). The angry waves are the internal exams one have been writing, the habour is the room where one will write the external exams. To get to this land, one must take the narrow road of hardwork, which leads to the airport of Rainbow. At the airport, one boards the aircraft of flying colours to a land called Smiles and happiness. On this land, one is awarded the key of Success, which is used to open the door to the land flowing with Honey and Milk.

The Land Flowing with Honey and Milk is sometimes called: the land of Success, land of the Future, Secondary School, Tertiary Institution or the world of work. I personally do not know the real name of this land, but I think by study very hard, one will be able to name this land.

Take every exams as a challenge which when tackled very well can change your future from dim to bright. Always employ the courage and determination you used at the beginning of the race of Education to finish the final Lap. To those who have lost hope, I say there is hope only if they believe and all is not lost, for a Stitch in Time Saves Nine.

Remember, by trying often the monkey learns to jump from tree to tree without falling. Don’t forget your school motto!

Please study hard to fulfill your dreams of becoming heroes and heroines of this Country.

OMNIA VINCIT LABOR (HARDWORK CONQUERS ALL)

LEADERSHIP

BEING SUCCESSFUL

It is evident to all that this millennium has brought hardships, political crisis and other difficulties. Students are thinking of how to be successful in their academics whilst businessmen are also thinking of good turnover. The ordinary man on the street is also thinking of getting employment to earn a living.

Everyone is thinking of having a breakthrough in their various fields. A lot of things are being done just to have a breakthrough and in most cases all hope has been lost and that there is no success.

13 EASY STEPS TO SUCCESS

Whether you aspire to become a successful family, business, education leader, or a leader in other fields, it is important to note that success as a ladder is neither magical nor mysterious. It is as a result of following some basic principles.

1. Accept Christ; He will raise you from grass to grace.

2. Love mercy and truth, be slow to anger.

3. Be friendly but choose your friends carefully.

4. Hate bribes.

5. Hate alcohol. It clouds your reasoning and judgment.

6. Reward performance but discipline people when necessary.

7. Make good use of your time.

8. Success is 99% hardwork and 1% inspiration.

9. Be courageous and confident.

10. Never associate with people whose ways are crooked.

11. Seek knowledge always.

12. Lastly, OMNIA VINCIT LABOR ( PERSEVERANCE CONQUERS ALL)

13. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF!!

YOUR TME AND YOU

Time is a resourceful gift from God, it is equal for all and irreplaceable, it is also a very scarce resource. Some say: “It cures more than the doctor, it is the best counselor, time is money and time is life”.

To all, time is precious. Have you considered making good use of your time?

Then check out these hints.

TIME WASTERS

· Too much conversation and haste.

· Laziness/ unnecessary sleeping.

· Procrastination and worry

· Having no or too high standards.

· Too much socialization and over commitment.

TIME SAVERS

· Don’t chat or entertain visitors unnecessarily

· Fight procrastination. For it is the thief of time.

· Develop a daily-to-do list.

· Use waiting time profitably.

· Set up rewards and discipline for work done.

· Don’t forget you’re managing God’s time and not yours. Time is in high demand and fixed in excess.

TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NO MAN, IT’S YOUR LIFE, IT’S YOUR

CHOICE.

THE PEOPLE IN OUR HOOD

MADAM VIVIAN AKOSUA ANSUA(PEOPLE)
MADAM COMFORT ARABA CRENSTIL (TIGO)
MADAM ABIGAIL OHENE ANPONSA (SPARKLING AKITSI)
MADAM ETHEL BUCKOM (T.K./ ENEMY OF PROGRESS)
SIR OBED FORFOE (EDDY-F)
MONEY FRESH
COMMANDER PHAROAH
WAKYE HERO
SIKAYI ROBERT

ANY YOU CAN VISIT THIS SITE FOR MORE FUN. www.lizzderban.blogspot.com

E-mail: abowabon200g@yahoo.com
or
negarwhite2000@yahoo.com

ABOUT TH E SNIPERS BEHIND THIS BLOG

ABRAHAM ACQUAH AND ISAAC DERBAN ARE THE KILLERS WHO THROUGH THEIR OWN CREATIVE GENIUS CREATED THIS BLOG TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE HAPPY. WE HAVE OUR PICTURES ON THE SCREEN WITH THE 1st 1 is Abraham and the soldier one is Isaac.

THANKS FOR VISITING OUR SITE
SEE YA!!!!